Author: Hunter James Martin
I’m going to tell you about my experience creating a tulpa. Despite occurring a few years ago, I remember it as though it was last week. If any of you are tempted to create your own, I strongly recommend against it. My reasons are explained further on. For those who don’t know, a tulpa is an entity created purely through imagination. If you concentrate hard and long enough you can gradually bring one to life. A human, animal, or something much more creative.It is no urban legend. Tulpas are very real. You can read about them on Wikipedia here.
It can take anything from two hundred to five hundred hours to complete one, depending on the creator. I was a good few hundred hours into my mine before I stopped. I had chosen to work on a replica of myself, purely because it is the easiest to do.
When I began I had no idea if it was going to work. I am always exploring the supernatural and the paranormal. I have performed countless experiments and the majority of them have left me disappointed. By the time I started on my tulpa I was used to being let down.
Imagine my surprise when I could feel it coming together, way before I could see anything. It’s difficult to explain, but it was similar to the sensation I get when I’m being productive. Except all I was doing was sitting there staring and concentrating.
It began to take shape. At first I could see the outlines, kind of like light on someone’s shoulders when the sun is behind them. This gradually bled over until I was looking at a vague figure. Next I defined its general shape, removing any irregularities and filling in gaps.
Eventually the tulpa was fully formed and I was staring at a replica of myself. I watched it for a while, admiring my own work. I remember the way it just watched me back. Like a customer getting a haircut.
By this point it was like an image from a projector. My fingers passed through it when I tried to touch it. During the next stage of its creation I would give it the ability to interact with me and its environment. It wasn’t long after this I changed my mind about the whole thing.
I remember at one point realising its features were a little more elongated than mine. Slightly longer face, teeth, eyes, limbs, fingers. And there was something incredibly disturbing about the way it watched me.
When I first started on it, my tulpa would stay put whenever I wasn’t working on it. It always waited patiently in that room for me to return and continue. Then one day I was washing my face and it was behind me in the mirror. Staring. I stood there, heart pounding, for what felt like hours before I remembered it was still only an image. I swam a hand through it just to make sure.
It followed me everywhere around the house after that, but I would never see it walking. It would just suddenly be behind me, beside me, in the reflection of something. I began to get very frightened.
It all became too much. One night I decided to stop working on it and just wait for it to disappear. It took a month and a half. A month and a half of watching and following. It was always there. Sometimes staring without expression. Sometimes smiling with its long teeth.
Some nights it would get braver. I would wake up and it would be standing over my bed. A warped version of myself, just waiting for me to open my eyes. Sometimes it would be accompanied by a sour odour.
What was even more terrifying was a month or so in, waking up and seeing its faded figure standing at the end of the room like a shadow. Still watching. By this point I was rarely sleeping. Whenever I closed my lids I could feel its eyes on me.
On the nights I did sleep I would have the worst nightmares imaginable. And it only got worse from there. Picture waking from a terrible dream only to realise the nightmare was completely real. I hardly ate. My weight plummeted. At one point my boss asked me to do a drug test.
As time went on the shadow became less and less apparent. The days became brighter again, my nightmares more tolerable. Then one morning I couldn’t see it anymore, nor feel it. The following night I slept like a log. That’s when I knew I was really free.
So please, don’t mess around with tulpas. I know it’s tempting to try it, the concept intrigued me at first too. But I learned my lesson, and thankfully before it was too late.
I’m just grateful I got out unharmed. Imagine I had given it the ability to interact, then tried to get rid of it. It’s last days would have been much more terrifying.
So consider this a warning. If you have a mind like mine, you’ll make something dark and regret it. A tulpa’s mental state relies on its creator’s. Remember that.